Comments on: Social graces in Lebanon https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/ rules not included. Sat, 06 Aug 2011 10:24:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Georgia Paterson Dargham https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-21859 Georgia Paterson Dargham Tue, 10 May 2011 13:49:25 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-21859 Yes, over-providing is definitely a recurrent theme in this region. Good to hear your experiences, Lindsey. Yes, over-providing is definitely a recurrent theme in this region. Good to hear your experiences, Lindsey.

]]> By: Georgia Paterson Dargham https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-21850 Georgia Paterson Dargham Tue, 10 May 2011 10:11:51 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-21850 Thanks for these insights MJ - yes I think I made the mistake of eye contact when I first arrived. Let me know how the botoxed whistling turns out! Thanks for these insights MJ – yes I think I made the mistake of eye contact when I first arrived. Let me know how the botoxed whistling turns out!

]]> By: Lindsey https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-21747 Lindsey Sun, 08 May 2011 19:57:21 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-21747 This post made me smile-- I've experienced similar feelings in moving to Jordan. Having lived with an Arab family for a few months, I've found that being clean is pretty much the most important thing to excel at; in fact, I discovered recently that my host mom brags to her friends that I make my bed and don't smell bad. It's also things like walking barefoot into the bathroom and then the rest of the house that makes Jordanians cringe. Oh, and no wet hair in public. As for food, you eat everything on your plate, and you're not going anywhere until coffee has been served. Rule of thumb: invite 5 people, cook for 20. As for language, there's some differences in the way Palestinians (or "city people") and Bedouins pronounce "qaaf," and there's random words here and there that get used differently. But there's no telling what faux-pas I'm committing aside from butchering the pronunciation of their language... This post made me smile– I’ve experienced similar feelings in moving to Jordan. Having lived with an Arab family for a few months, I’ve found that being clean is pretty much the most important thing to excel at; in fact, I discovered recently that my host mom brags to her friends that I make my bed and don’t smell bad. It’s also things like walking barefoot into the bathroom and then the rest of the house that makes Jordanians cringe. Oh, and no wet hair in public. As for food, you eat everything on your plate, and you’re not going anywhere until coffee has been served. Rule of thumb: invite 5 people, cook for 20.
As for language, there’s some differences in the way Palestinians (or “city people”) and Bedouins pronounce “qaaf,” and there’s random words here and there that get used differently.
But there’s no telling what faux-pas I’m committing aside from butchering the pronunciation of their language…

]]> By: ian alexander https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-21071 ian alexander Wed, 27 Apr 2011 19:36:38 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-21071 Dear Ginger, nothing you didnt know, gaffe and sail on. humanity beats class like roses beat grass with no sound of a fight - they are after all in different leagues. and as we also know chewing the class cud makes your teeth green and babies cross-eyed. Dear Ginger, nothing you didnt know, gaffe and sail on.
humanity beats class like roses beat grass with no sound of a fight – they are after all in different leagues. and as we also know chewing the class cud makes your teeth green and babies cross-eyed.

]]> By: mj https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20565 mj Tue, 19 Apr 2011 11:53:58 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20565 Lack of trust, that is. Lack of trust, that is.

]]> By: mj https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20564 mj Tue, 19 Apr 2011 11:51:51 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20564 On the other hand, there are things considered rude in other places that are normal, and even convenient, in this society. One of them is the way you interact with people of the other gender: whatever the age, you can slightly deviate the direction of your eyes when talking to a man, (a bit like somebody reading on a prompter while reading the news) unless of course you have or want an intimate relationship with him. In the beginning I always had the feeling that people here never actually look you in the eyes, which in my culture induces luck of trust. It didn't take long to know that it was actually considered improper (or that it sent signals I didn't think I was sending, as I rapidly discovered). I also learnt to wear my nose imperceptibly higher than I would do back in Europe. It assures you a safe distance from about anyone, and don't worry, it won't scare people away. On the other hand, there are things considered rude in other places that are normal, and even convenient, in this society. One of them is the way you interact with people of the other gender: whatever the age, you can slightly deviate the direction of your eyes when talking to a man, (a bit like somebody reading on a prompter while reading the news) unless of course you have or want an intimate relationship with him. In the beginning I always had the feeling that people here never actually look you in the eyes, which in my culture induces luck of trust. It didn’t take long to know that it was actually considered improper (or that it sent signals I didn’t think I was sending, as I rapidly discovered).
I also learnt to wear my nose imperceptibly higher than I would do back in Europe. It assures you a safe distance from about anyone, and don’t worry, it won’t scare people away.

]]> By: mj https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20563 mj Tue, 19 Apr 2011 11:33:57 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20563 On the table or out of it, there is one thing that's completely "3ib" for a woman: whistling. Never ever whistle in public, not even in private, your neighbor might hear you :)! Personally, I love whistling, I do it instinctively whenever I don't find my voice to be in place. However, my long years in three Arab countries have made me forget about it almost all of the time (actually, I still do it when I think nobody is watching. I've decided to enjoy my skills while I still can. After all, if I continue to live in this country, I will undoubtedly end up pumping my old lips with silicone or botox or whatever. Can you still whistle properly after that? I doubt it). Why the horror about an apparently innocent practice? I've overhead comments, like it amounts to "call the devil". The comments were made by Muslims, although I guess it is not appreciated to hear a girl -not to say a grown up woman-, whistling among Christians either. Allez savoir... On the table or out of it, there is one thing that’s completely “3ib” for a woman: whistling. Never ever whistle in public, not even in private, your neighbor might hear you :)! Personally, I love whistling, I do it instinctively whenever I don’t find my voice to be in place. However, my long years in three Arab countries have made me forget about it almost all of the time (actually, I still do it when I think nobody is watching. I’ve decided to enjoy my skills while I still can. After all, if I continue to live in this country, I will undoubtedly end up pumping my old lips with silicone or botox or whatever. Can you still whistle properly after that? I doubt it).
Why the horror about an apparently innocent practice? I’ve overhead comments, like it amounts to “call the devil”. The comments were made by Muslims, although I guess it is not appreciated to hear a girl -not to say a grown up woman-, whistling among Christians either. Allez savoir…

]]> By: Maria https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20478 Maria Mon, 18 Apr 2011 11:50:06 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20478 You are right on! I have no answers either, and coming from a country where being "polite" is essential, this drives me insane! I think you are right, exceeding expectations is a good rule of thumb in Lebanon. Great post! You are right on! I have no answers either, and coming from a country where being “polite” is essential, this drives me insane! I think you are right, exceeding expectations is a good rule of thumb in Lebanon. Great post!

]]> By: mary ann https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20462 mary ann Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:31:56 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20462 I used to worry about this, but I've stopped. For one thing, no matter how much you want to know and follow the rules, gracious and well-meaning Lebanese are forever allowing you to break them. I also know that I wouldn't expect a foreigner in my country (the US) to be culturally American. Plus, I'm a slow learner. It took me a few years to learn that I <i>should</i> leave my flip-flops at home, and another few to actually DO IT. I used to worry about this, but I’ve stopped. For one thing, no matter how much you want to know and follow the rules, gracious and well-meaning Lebanese are forever allowing you to break them. I also know that I wouldn’t expect a foreigner in my country (the US) to be culturally American.

Plus, I’m a slow learner. It took me a few years to learn that I should leave my flip-flops at home, and another few to actually DO IT.

]]> By: Beirut Spring: Savoir-Vivre in Lebanon https://gingerbeirut.com/social-graces-in-lebanon/comment-page-1/#comment-20461 Beirut Spring: Savoir-Vivre in Lebanon Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:26:28 +0000 https://gingerbeirut.com/?p=1490#comment-20461 [...] Georgia Paterson Dargham: So what are the rules for the gentlefolk of Lebanon? And what are considered indications of true class? They’re quite different from anywhere I’ve lived before [...] [...] Georgia Paterson Dargham: So what are the rules for the gentlefolk of Lebanon? And what are considered indications of true class? They’re quite different from anywhere I’ve lived before [...]

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